Following some basic guidelines can help provide a safe and sane adult spanking experience for everyone involved. Please remember it's called play for a reason.
Guidelines for Safe and Sane Play
- Never play if you have been drinking alcohol. It dulls the senses and impairs judgment.
- Never play with someone you don't feel completely safe with - trust your instincts. "No" is an acceptable answer. If NO is not respected, neither are you. Stop immediately and leave.
- Agree on safewords before playing. Common words are "yellow, " meaning you're approaching your limit, and "red" means stop. If safewords aren't respected, then you aren't either. Stop immediately and leave.
- The top is responsible for monitoring the bottom's condition. If there are skin ruptures or bruising, it's time to stop no matter what the bottom thinks or wants. Stop play and tend to the condition immediately.
- Never strike above the tailbone. Kidneys and the base of the spine are easily injured.
- Never test a "new toy" on a partner. Test it on a pillow or your hand first until you have command of it. And never be a test subject. Control and proficiency should be demonstrated to prevent injury.
- If there is "wrapping," either change position or the toy. Or take a break - wrapping can come from leaning when the top is growing tired. Some toys tend to wrap more than others - you should not use these until you can demonstrate control and proficiency.
- If you bind wrists or ankles, there should be enough room to slip a finger in. Watch for any evidence of the fingers or toes turning bluish. Unfasten immediately.
- Tops are not automatically Doms, nor are Doms automatically Tops. Bottoms are not automatically subs, nor are subs automatically bottoms. One is more mental and the other more physical. Avoid disappointment by choosing the right kind of partner.
- Use common sense. It's called "play" for a reason.
Bottom - The one receiving the spanking.
Play - The act of spanking. And it should be good, satisfying and adventurous play. It's called this for a reason!
Safeword - A word used by the bottom to indicate that they are near or at their maximum tolerance level. It can be any word agreed upon before play - common ones are "yellow" indicating approaching maximum close to maximum (slow down) and "red" indicating stop. The words "don't" and "stop" are rarely used as they may be part of role-play dialog.
Top - The one giving the spanking; the spanker.
Toy - Another name for an implement (paddle, strap, cane, crop, etc.).
Wrapping - Normally a result of soft leather straps, paddles and tawses. The end "wraps" around the bottom and leaves a dark red mark or bruise on the side of the hip. Among experienced people, wrapping is the mark of a very inexperienced person (and an insult!). Either they don't know the right length of toy to use in OTK, are getting tired after arduous play, or they lean if standing.
This post was complied from information on the now defunct Ecstasy Leathers website.