Excerpt from: Secrets and Lies (February 8, 2012) By Dan Savage
I (middle-aged, married, straight guy) recently attended a boring business conference where I ran into an old friend (middle-aged, married, straight guy). He came to my room for a moment, noticed a camera on a small tripod on the desk, and asked what I was shooting. Emboldened by a few beers, I told him about my hotel room routine: shoot myself naked and masturbating then upload pics to an amateur exhibitionist website. Since I had shared my little secret, he shared his: He gets naked in hotel rooms and masturbates while spanking himself with his belt. You can see where this is going. I whacked his ass while he took photos of me. There was no sucking or fucking—no physical contact at all—but his Catholic guilt came out afterward, and he started going on about how he had just had gay sex and cheated on his wife. To me, it was masturbation with a few toys (camera, belt, and, okay, person). So here's the question: Did we have gay sex and cheat on our wives? Or was this just a wank with a few toys?
Spank And Wank
Two guys beating off in a hotel room? Sounds pretty gay to me. I mean, if a woman offered to help me out with my solo hotel room routine—mostly blogging and watching MSNBC, I'm sad to report—I'd take a pass, as that scene would be entirely too straight for me to get aroused.
Now, it's possible that your enjoyment of exhibitionism is so pure that the gender of the person or persons involved is irrelevant. That's not the case with my kinks, SAW, nor does it appear to be the case with your new spank buddy. And considering your friend's kink (punishment) and his faith (Catholic), I'm thinkin' the odds that your buddy has a few forbidden desires—perhaps gay ones—that led to his erotic obsession with being punished seem... oh, I dunno... kinda high. It may not have been gay for you, but it was gay for him.
As for whether what went down in that hotel room constitutes cheating, SAW, show your wife the pictures and ask her.