Link to article from the OC Register on this Father's Day
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/dad-child-today-2068620-father-spanking?orderby=TimeStampAscending&oncommentsPage=1&showRecommendedOnly=0#slComments?referrer=google
Sunday, June 15, 2008
When Dad left his mark
GORDON DILLOW
Register columnist
GLDillow@aol.com
In fact, he might even be in jail.
Don't misunderstand. Troy O. Dillow was an upstanding citizen, a veteran of World War II and Korea, a hardworking family man with high moral values. It's just that the way Dad raised his children back then has largely fallen out of fashion now.
Consider the issue of "corporal punishment" – which is to say, spanking.
As you may know, there's a movement these days to ban spanking as a form of child discipline. The United Nations has been urging all countries to ban it, and some countries – Finland, Sweden, Norway, Germany and so on – have done so.
Here in California it's still legal to spank your kid, as long as the punishment is "reasonable" and doesn't result in a "traumatic condition" such as bruises or severe welts. Obviously, beating up a child is illegal, not to mention despicable, but generally speaking, a few whacks on the butt with a hand or a paddle are still legal.
But some people would like to change that. For example, the California Legislature recently considered a bill that would have effectively made it illegal to spank a child with any sort of "implement" – that is, a switch, a paddle, a belt, a wooden spoon, anything other than the palm of a hand.
True, the bill died in committee. But it seems likely that similar or even more restrictive legislation on spanking will come up again in the future, and someday may become law.
This would have spelled big trouble for Dad.
Dad had a system. Not once did he ever hit me or my brother in anger, or with his fist. But if we broke a major rule – talking back, disrespecting Mom, continuing to do something after a second warning, etc. – he would give us 30 minutes to think about it and then deliver eight whacks on our butts with his belt. It never seriously hurt us, but it certainly made an impression.
Of course, this policy didn't apply to our kid sister. Little Miss Apple-of-Her-Daddy's-Eye never got a spanking in her life – which I guess means that by today's societal standards, in addition to being a borderline "child abuser," Dad was also a sexist.
But it wasn't just spanking that might have put Dad on the wrong side of the law if he were raising kids today. There was also the L&Ms he smoked.
Some of you may not remember this, but back in the 1950s and early '60s more than 40 percent of adult Americans were smokers. Almost every home had an ashtray on the coffee table, and while cars didn't come with cup holders, they all came with ashtrays. Smoking around the kids was no big deal.
But no longer. Since Jan. 1 of this year it's been illegal to smoke in a car in California if anyone under age 18 is riding in it, lest the child be exposed to secondhand smoke. And given the relentless march of anti-smoking laws, I suspect that eventually it will be illegal to smoke around kids in any situation.
Again, this would have meant trouble for Dad.
And even if he didn't run afoul of the law, Dad's method of raising kids probably would seem out of place today.
He made us say "sir" or "ma'am" to adults. We had to wear suits and ties to church. If we got in trouble at school he always took the teacher's side. He never used a cuss word, and he tried – not always successfully – to steer us away from the rawer elements of popular culture. Dad thought the Rolling Stones were a bad influence; today's "gangsta rap" would have given him a stroke.
So to sum it up, in today's society my father would probably be considered an old-fashioned child-abusing sexist secondhand kid poisoner.
But I remember him as a man who loved us deeply and did his best to set us on a proper course in life. And I never think of him without being grateful that he was my father.
So thanks, Dad, for all that you did for us – belt-across-the-butt and all.
And to all of you dads out there, have a happy Father's Day.
Contact the writer: 714-796-7953 or GLDillow@aol.com
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/dad-child-today-2068620-father-spanking?orderby=TimeStampAscending&oncommentsPage=1&showRecommendedOnly=0#slComments?referrer=google
Sunday, June 15, 2008
When Dad left his mark
GORDON DILLOW
Register columnist
GLDillow@aol.com
On this Father's Day I'm naturally thinking about my own father, God rest his soul. But even though he was a fine man and a good father, it occurs to me that my dad's "parenting" methods probably wouldn't find much favor in today's society.
In fact, he might even be in jail.
Don't misunderstand. Troy O. Dillow was an upstanding citizen, a veteran of World War II and Korea, a hardworking family man with high moral values. It's just that the way Dad raised his children back then has largely fallen out of fashion now.
Consider the issue of "corporal punishment" – which is to say, spanking.
As you may know, there's a movement these days to ban spanking as a form of child discipline. The United Nations has been urging all countries to ban it, and some countries – Finland, Sweden, Norway, Germany and so on – have done so.
Here in California it's still legal to spank your kid, as long as the punishment is "reasonable" and doesn't result in a "traumatic condition" such as bruises or severe welts. Obviously, beating up a child is illegal, not to mention despicable, but generally speaking, a few whacks on the butt with a hand or a paddle are still legal.
But some people would like to change that. For example, the California Legislature recently considered a bill that would have effectively made it illegal to spank a child with any sort of "implement" – that is, a switch, a paddle, a belt, a wooden spoon, anything other than the palm of a hand.
True, the bill died in committee. But it seems likely that similar or even more restrictive legislation on spanking will come up again in the future, and someday may become law.
This would have spelled big trouble for Dad.
Dad had a system. Not once did he ever hit me or my brother in anger, or with his fist. But if we broke a major rule – talking back, disrespecting Mom, continuing to do something after a second warning, etc. – he would give us 30 minutes to think about it and then deliver eight whacks on our butts with his belt. It never seriously hurt us, but it certainly made an impression.
Of course, this policy didn't apply to our kid sister. Little Miss Apple-of-Her-Daddy's-Eye never got a spanking in her life – which I guess means that by today's societal standards, in addition to being a borderline "child abuser," Dad was also a sexist.
But it wasn't just spanking that might have put Dad on the wrong side of the law if he were raising kids today. There was also the L&Ms he smoked.
Some of you may not remember this, but back in the 1950s and early '60s more than 40 percent of adult Americans were smokers. Almost every home had an ashtray on the coffee table, and while cars didn't come with cup holders, they all came with ashtrays. Smoking around the kids was no big deal.
But no longer. Since Jan. 1 of this year it's been illegal to smoke in a car in California if anyone under age 18 is riding in it, lest the child be exposed to secondhand smoke. And given the relentless march of anti-smoking laws, I suspect that eventually it will be illegal to smoke around kids in any situation.
Again, this would have meant trouble for Dad.
And even if he didn't run afoul of the law, Dad's method of raising kids probably would seem out of place today.
He made us say "sir" or "ma'am" to adults. We had to wear suits and ties to church. If we got in trouble at school he always took the teacher's side. He never used a cuss word, and he tried – not always successfully – to steer us away from the rawer elements of popular culture. Dad thought the Rolling Stones were a bad influence; today's "gangsta rap" would have given him a stroke.
So to sum it up, in today's society my father would probably be considered an old-fashioned child-abusing sexist secondhand kid poisoner.
But I remember him as a man who loved us deeply and did his best to set us on a proper course in life. And I never think of him without being grateful that he was my father.
So thanks, Dad, for all that you did for us – belt-across-the-butt and all.
And to all of you dads out there, have a happy Father's Day.
Contact the writer: 714-796-7953 or GLDillow@aol.com
