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Friday, July 4, 2014

Giving an Enjoyable Spanking


Whether you are experienced or just starting, understanding and improving your adult spanking technique is an important facet of an enhanced spanking experience.

Secrets of an Enjoyable Spanking

Many people have never played, nor had the opportunity to watch experienced people play.  And perhaps a spouse or friend has expressed an interest.  Knowing how to proceed makes all the difference between a satisfying experience and and an ill-fated disappointment.  A good adult spanking takes about an hour, and by following the suggestions outlined, an inexperienced player can look like an old hand in making fantasy a reality, which is what this is all about.

Safewords:

Agree on safewords.   "Yellow" is a common word meaning the bottom is at the limit, and the impacts should be no harder nor come any faster.  "Red" means stop.   Choose whatever words you like, and remember that the bottom has a responsibility for communicating and the top for responding.

The open hand: 

When using the hand, it should be cupped slightly, with a small gap between the fingers.  Place the tip of the thumb against the knuckle of the first finger.  The hand should be firm, but not tight.   The wrist is kept straight, and the elbow is bent to adjust the distance.   Impacts come from the upper arm/shoulder, and are delivered straight on to the target.  This is the American style.  The European style delivers upwards and downwards arcing, glancing impacts.  They are hard to target and pull the skin.   The American style is more direct, and preferred by most bottoms.

Positions: 

The number of positions are limited only by imagination and common sense.  And the basic rule is "comfort is king!"  Tightly stretched positions (e.g. holding the ankles) should be used only for short periods.  The skin and underlying flesh is drawn tight, and not allowed to displace from the impact.  This leads to marking and bruising.  Other positions where the bottom's weight is carried by internal organs and the diaphragm (e.g. OTK using a chair) should also only be used for short periods.  A short period means no more than about 5 minutes.

When bent over, the angle formed between the thighs and back should not exceed 45 degrees.  The "on all fours" position is best when kneeling is done on knees and hands (with straight arms) and not knees and elbows.  Or kneeling mostly upright on the seat of a chair or sofa.   When standing the hands should be placed on a table or back of a chair to help support the weight downward.  A wall helps maintain balance, but will not provide support if "dancing" begins.  When lying down, pillows underneath the head, hips and ankles work wonders - it is far more comfortable than simply lying flat.  

The sofa or bed makes the most relaxing and enjoyable place for OTK.  The top should sit as far back as possible so the bottom is completely supported.  Placing a pillow under the bottom's head and ankles makes it even more comfortable.  When relaxed, the bottom finds it easier to go to the special place inside them (i.e. zoning, sub-zoning, flying).  The top's job is to get the bottom there, and once there they seem impervious to pain.  Do not strike harder or faster thinking they are asleep!  And do not keep them there too long.  An extended visit can result in a headache from the continued endorphin release in the brain.

Targeting: 

Striking the same spot repeatedly is not preferred by many bottoms.  The area needs a short time to recover.  And striking above the tip of the tailbone is dangerous - the nerves exiting the base of the spine and the kidneys can easily be injured.  An easy way to prevent this during OTK is for the top to lightly place one hand on the bottom's lower back.  Extend the thumb so it touches the tip of the tailbone.  This protects the area from inadvertent misses, especially if the bottom wiggles or kicks.

Draw an imaginary line across the buttocks between the tip of the tailbone and the very top of the thigh.  Each cheek will be divided into a upper and lower section.  Strike in a rotating pattern - for example: upper left, lower right, upper right, lower left, and repeat.  Vary the pattern during play - at least once a minute.  Then divide each cheek into thirds, create a pattern, then vary it.

Occasionally during play, a single gentle strike on the top of the thigh can be added in.  This is a very sensitive area requiring reduced intensity.  And for maximum effect, no more than 3-4 times on each thigh during play.

Building the intensity: 

Role playing disciplinary spankings are applied at nearly full intensity with little or no warmup.  For sensual spankings, the intensity should be carefully increased.  There are several reasons for this.   The low beginning intensity enhances blood flow to the area which helps prevent marking and bruising when the intensity increases.  Also, when intensity is carefully increased during the stages of play, the bottom can take much higher levels than if not warmed up.  And this also helps build confidence and trust when playing with someone for the first time.

Intensity is built in steps, not a straight line.  Imagine an intensity scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is the lightest impact that can be felt and 10 is the hardest impact that can be tolerated.  Intensity is built from 1 to 2 to 3.  Then intensity is reduced back to 2, then increased from 2 to 3 to 4.  Then back to 3, then from 3 to 4 to 5, etc.  During the heart of the play, the intensity can vary from 5 to 10, with rate being a factor.  During cooldown, intensity is reduce back down in steps - 10 to 9 to 8, then 9 to 8 to 7, etc.

Rate: 

Role playing disciplinary spankings normally occur at a constant and brisk rate.  Sensual spankings generally start and end at very slow rates, with a number of rate changes adding to the sensation.  During warmup, the rate is slow.  Starting at about one impact every 2-3 seconds and increasing very gradually to about 1 per second.  A slow, steady rate is relaxing and comforting, and puts the bottom at ease.   Cooldown is the compliment - about 1 per second decreasing to once every 2-3 seconds.

During the heart of the play, maximum effect results when the pace varies slightly.  The anticipation of the impact is as intoxicating as the impact itself - varying the timing retains that anticipation.   Maintain a rate of about 1 per second, then gradually increase to about 2 per second.  Then gradually decrease to about 1 per second.  The whole cycle should take about a minute.  And an alert top will notice the bottom clenching in anticipation of the timing - skip a beat.

A few short bursts of about 4 impacts per second really heighten the heart of the play.  Coming without warning, the bursts should last about 10-15 seconds.  And they should happen no more than about 3 times.  And remember to follow the pattern and reduce the intensity about 2 levels.

The warmup: 

This is the most important part of sensual OTK play, and should take a full third of the time spent.  It sets the tone and calms a racing heart.  The top should position the bottom, and make them comfortable.  Begin by gently stroking the backs of the legs up to the top of the thighs, and the shoulders down to the base of the spine.  Repeat a few times until there is no muscle tightness or tension.

A good OTK session begins over the clothing, starting at a rate of about 3 per second and increasing to about 1 per second.   Intensity steps up from 1 to about 5.  At this point, the top layer of clothing is removed exposing the undergarments.  Doing this slowly heightens the anticipation.  With the undergarments exposed, repeat the warmup from the very beginning.  Do not skimp or rush - remember to always keep building the anticipation.   Near the end, pull back the undergarments to expose the cheeks.  The bottom may find this exciting, but the purpose is for the top to check the color.  It should be a very even light pink.  And this is a good time for a minute of gentle stroking.

A minute of impacts, then restore the undergarments snugly across the buttocks.  Then about another minute of play.   Ever so slowly, slide the undergarments down to just above the knees.  This is an extremely exciting time for the bottom, so slow patience is critical.  The bottom may arch up to assist, and the top should try to minimize this - better they remain relaxed and feel the sensation.  A minute a gentle stroking works wonders, but avoid squeezing.  Light fingertip touching on the pinkened area, backs of the legs, and shoulders.  Again, repeat the warmup from the very beginning.  Take your time, remembering to build the anticipation.

The heart of the play: 

This is a time of excitement and caution.  Build the intensity in steps, then vary the rate, adding in the short bursts.  After using the hand, this is the time for toys - all the techniques described under intensity and rate can be repeated using them as well.  Different toys provide different sensations.  Implements having a small contact surface area are generally "stingy," while those having a larger surface area are "thuddy."  Different shapes (e.g. oval) apply impact over different areas to vary the sensation.  Begin with thuddy toys moving toward stingy and back again.  Every bottom will have a preference.  If toys are used, 80% of bottoms prefer leather over wood.  Wood offers no forgiveness to match the contour of the body, and has a tendency to bruise.  Focus on the favorite sensation, but do not completely neglect the others - it adds contrast.  And this is the time to vary positions.  It provides further excitement for the bottom, and gives the top a chance to stretch and catch a breath.

A good top pays close attention during this time.  Hand spanking can leave small red speckles on the bottom - the intensity should be reduced and the rate increased.  And check that the palm remains slightly cupped.  And an alert top checks the side of the buttock furthest away several times during the play.  If toys are used, soft leather can wrap, leaving marks.   Dark red swirls or bright red / bluish outlines on the cheeks indicate the intensity is too high.  Either the toy is too heavy, too stiff, or is being used too hard.  The bottom cannot see their own buttocks, and the top is responsible.  It is better to go longer and lighter.  The color should be an even glowing crimson, with no mottling.

The cooldown: 

This is the best part, and well worth a quarter of the time spent - a time of gentle sighs and deep relaxation.  There is no substitute for the hand to cool down the bottom in a lying down OTK position.   Gradually step down the intensity and reduce the rate - do not hurry.  When at the lowest level, intermittent half-minute periods of gentle finger tip stroking and light massage, followed by slow and light impacts helps to maintain blood flow.  This reduces any marking or bruising that may appear later.  Continue the intermittent periods until all the color is nearly faded.

When the color is nearly gone, a few minutes of gentle stroking adds a nice finishing touch.  Then lotion or oil applied after warming in the palm - do not apply it cold.


Definitions of certain spanking-related words underlined above:

Bottom - The one receiving the spanking.

OTK - Over-the-Knee.  The basic spanking position for hand-spanking or with short toys.  Good on a sofa, but the "traditional" straight back chair puts a lot of pressure on the bottom's diaphragm.  

Play - The act of spanking.   And it should be good, satisfying and adventurous play.  It's called this for a reason!

Role Play - Where a fantasy scenario is played out.  Common roles are boss/employee, doctor/nurse, warden/prisoner, principal/student, etc.   Usually there is some imagined situation that one partner finds that enhances the satisfaction.  A good partner assumes the complimentary role to increase the partner's satisfaction.  Mostly for disciplinary play.  

Safeword - A word used by the bottom to indicate that they are near or at their maximum tolerance level.  It can be any word agreed upon before play - common ones are "yellow" indicating approaching maximum close to maximum (slow down) and "red" indicating stop. The words "don't" and "stop" are rarely used as they may be part of role-play dialog.

Thuddy - A dull, achy sensation much like a sore muscle, and generally the result of a heavy implement used at low velocity.

Top - The one giving the spanking; the spanker.

Toy - Another name for an implement (paddle, strap, cane, crop, etc.).


This post was complied from information on the now defunct Ecstasy Leathers website. 

Basic Spanking Guidelines


Following some basic guidelines can help provide a safe and sane adult spanking experience for everyone involved.  Please remember it's called play for a reason. 

Guidelines for Safe and Sane Play


  1.  Never play if you have been drinking alcohol.  It dulls the senses and impairs judgment.           
  2.  Never play with someone you don't feel completely safe with - trust your instincts.  "No" is an acceptable answer.  If NO is not respected, neither are you.  Stop immediately and leave.        
  3. Agree on safewords before playing.  Common words are "yellow, " meaning you're approaching your limit, and "red" means stop.  If safewords aren't respected, then you aren't either.  Stop immediately and leave. 
  4. The top is responsible for monitoring the bottom's condition.   If there are skin ruptures or bruising, it's time to stop no matter what the bottom thinks or wants.  Stop play and tend to the condition immediately. 
  5. Never strike above the tailbone.  Kidneys and the base of the spine are easily injured. 
  6. Never test a "new toy" on a partner.  Test it on a pillow or your hand first until you have command of it.  And never be a test subject.  Control and proficiency should be demonstrated to prevent injury.   
  7. If there is "wrapping," either change position or the toy.  Or take a break - wrapping can come from leaning  when the top is growing tired.  Some toys tend to wrap more than others - you should not use these until you can demonstrate control and proficiency.   
  8. If you bind wrists or ankles, there should be enough room to slip a finger in.  Watch for any evidence of the fingers or toes turning bluish.  Unfasten immediately. 
  9. Tops are not automatically Doms, nor are Doms automatically Tops.  Bottoms are not automatically subs, nor are subs automatically bottoms.  One is more mental and the other more physical.   Avoid disappointment by choosing the right kind of partner.          
  10. Use common sense.  It's called "play" for a reason. 

Definitions of certain spanking-related words and phrases underlined above:

Bottom - The one receiving the spanking. 

Play - The act of spanking.   And it should be good, satisfying and adventurous play.  It's called this for a reason! 

Safeword - A word used by the bottom to indicate that they are near or at their maximum tolerance level.  It can be any word agreed upon before play - common ones are "yellow" indicating approaching maximum close to maximum (slow down) and "red" indicating stop. The words "don't" and "stop" are rarely used as they may be part of role-play dialog. 

Top - The one giving the spanking; the spanker. 

Toy - Another name for an implement (paddle, strap, cane, crop, etc.). 

Wrapping - Normally a result of soft leather straps, paddles and tawses.  The end "wraps" around the bottom and leaves a dark red mark or bruise on the side of the hip.  Among experienced people, wrapping is the mark of a very inexperienced person (and an insult!).  Either they don't know the right length of toy to use in OTK, are getting tired after arduous play, or they lean if standing.    



This post was complied from information on the now defunct Ecstasy Leathers website.  

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Fanny Paddle



FANNY PADDLE


A Spanking-Stick for ALL Family Occasions


Especially made:


For noisy GUESTS


And folks that CUSS


For swatting PESTS


And banned word that FUSS


For taming BRIDES


And winning WAGERS


For tanning HIDES


Of "smart" TEEN-AGERS


For stopping HIC-CUPS


Fights - and SPATS


For puddling PUPS


And careless CATS


For mice and ANTS


On picnic TRIPS


For paddling PANTS


When baby DRIPS


For wives at NIGHT


When hubby's LATE


For counting RIGHT


On a birthday DATE!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


USE at Your Own Risk!

Hair brush Poem

THE POEM

The hair brush, bare skin, doth impart
The most atrocious sort of smart
You grovel full of dread suspense
Waiting for it to commence

And suddenly a loud report
Of a sharp and wicked sort
Sets twenty thousand nerve ends blazing
In a matter most amazing

While full of horrified surprise
The second Red Hot Spank arrives
And one more awful tender spot
Is indescribably Hot

Your mind in panic and despair
Is sure it's more than you can bear
But you can very safely bet
You simply ain't felt nothing yet

Oodles more will be applied
Before Justice is satisfied
Smack, smack, smack and each well freighted
With punish unmitigated

The first cruel smart will not subside
Until about eight are applied
And then an awful, awful lot
Of naughty skin is awful Hot

And you can howl, yell and entreat
But it is kept at frenzied heat
That busy paddle seems to know
If any spot has ceased to glow

And back there, you've just lots and lots
Of awful tender, wincing spots
And the brush will smack every one
Many times before its done

It's awful to get two or three
In very close proximity
It's awful to fell fresh ones smart
On places rather far apart

And stray on firmly muscled thighs
Provoke most horrible surprise
High up where not padded so well
They are maddening as hell

But this sad fact is very true
On thicker padded portions too
The meanest kind, of all the lot
Seems always the kind you just got

Oh smack, smack, smack, so very heated
Stinging, smarting and repeated

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From Mr. Magazine (April 1972)
Letters to the Editor

Dear Sir: I'm sending you a spanking
poem that I thought you might like to
print in the Dear MR. Column.
M.R.F., Missouri

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Gay Male Spank

Gay_Male_Spank

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