Father's Day Begins on Monday!

Link to the blog article:
http://foxforum.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/06/16/fathers-day-begins-on-monday/

June 16th, 2008 12:33 PM Eastern

Father's Day Begins on Monday!


By Father Jonathan Morris
FOX News Religion Contributor

All men respect it, most give it an honest try, and the few and the brave and the wise just do it: it's the choice to be fathers first and everything else after.

Here's what it looked like, from my young, youngish, and then not-so-young eyes, to see Dad just do it.

– As far as Dad is concerned, Mom is always right, and he reminds us of this as he's walking out the door.

– That's because Mom and Dad always play on the same team and their goal is us. They argue, I'm pretty sure, but I don't know where. Maybe that's why their door is sometimes shut. I love it when they walk out smiling.

– If you don't know what time it is, wait and when Dad walks in the door it is 6:30pm. If he's late, there's a good reason. No stress. After all, he's working for us.

–Punishment is principle-based. Dad never dishes it out when he is mad, but he does dish it out. He waits until passions have subsided, reminds us what we've done wrong, and then he gives us a choice: suspension of privileges or spanking. We usually take the spanking and move on.

– We don't know if we are rich or poor. We get the things we need—all of them—and we know not to even ask for the things we don't. Knowing life won't change much if Dad were to hit the lottery, brings quiet and peace—we are living, not waiting to live.

–Who runs the finances? That would be Dad, for sure—he's a lawyer—but Mom always has some money too, and with it, she's got decision-making power. She reminds us she's just trying to stay within the budget lines that the two of them have drawn.

–Dad's friends are not all like him, but they move in the same direction. They've got the same life-goals, I guess. Mom knows them and so do we.

–We are seven kids, but every two weeks, the oldest three or four get one-on-one, "special time out with Dad" to a place of our choosing. Sometimes I choose McDonald's. It's the time to talk about whatever. I don't usually have anything deep to say, but I know he's listening, in case some day I do.

–Dad wants us to succeed. I know that, because preparing us, forming us, is his priority. What's different, though, is that his idea of our success is not becoming lawyers like him, or making more money than him, or having a super job. It's only about becoming good husbands, good wives, good moms, and good dads, and never saying 'no' to God, even when the request is only a whisper of the soul.

Oh, and there was so much more, but I think you get the idea. For the many guys who, like my dad, are fathers first and everything else after, Father's Day begins on Monday and lasts all year long. And we are grateful.

God bless,
Father Jonathan

When Dad left his mark

Link to article from the OC Register on this Father's Day

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/dad-child-today-2068620-father-spanking?orderby=TimeStampAscending&oncommentsPage=1&showRecommendedOnly=0#slComments?referrer=google

Sunday, June 15, 2008
When Dad left his mark

GORDON DILLOW
Register columnist
GLDillow@aol.com

On this Father's Day I'm naturally thinking about my own father, God rest his soul. But even though he was a fine man and a good father, it occurs to me that my dad's "parenting" methods probably wouldn't find much favor in today's society.

In fact, he might even be in jail.

Don't misunderstand. Troy O. Dillow was an upstanding citizen, a veteran of World War II and Korea, a hardworking family man with high moral values. It's just that the way Dad raised his children back then has largely fallen out of fashion now.

Consider the issue of "corporal punishment" – which is to say, spanking.

As you may know, there's a movement these days to ban spanking as a form of child discipline. The United Nations has been urging all countries to ban it, and some countries – Finland, Sweden, Norway, Germany and so on – have done so.

Here in California it's still legal to spank your kid, as long as the punishment is "reasonable" and doesn't result in a "traumatic condition" such as bruises or severe welts. Obviously, beating up a child is illegal, not to mention despicable, but generally speaking, a few whacks on the butt with a hand or a paddle are still legal.

But some people would like to change that. For example, the California Legislature recently considered a bill that would have effectively made it illegal to spank a child with any sort of "implement" – that is, a switch, a paddle, a belt, a wooden spoon, anything other than the palm of a hand.

True, the bill died in committee. But it seems likely that similar or even more restrictive legislation on spanking will come up again in the future, and someday may become law.

This would have spelled big trouble for Dad.

Dad had a system. Not once did he ever hit me or my brother in anger, or with his fist. But if we broke a major rule – talking back, disrespecting Mom, continuing to do something after a second warning, etc. – he would give us 30 minutes to think about it and then deliver eight whacks on our butts with his belt. It never seriously hurt us, but it certainly made an impression.

Of course, this policy didn't apply to our kid sister. Little Miss Apple-of-Her-Daddy's-Eye never got a spanking in her life – which I guess means that by today's societal standards, in addition to being a borderline "child abuser," Dad was also a sexist.

But it wasn't just spanking that might have put Dad on the wrong side of the law if he were raising kids today. There was also the L&Ms he smoked.

Some of you may not remember this, but back in the 1950s and early '60s more than 40 percent of adult Americans were smokers. Almost every home had an ashtray on the coffee table, and while cars didn't come with cup holders, they all came with ashtrays. Smoking around the kids was no big deal.

But no longer. Since Jan. 1 of this year it's been illegal to smoke in a car in California if anyone under age 18 is riding in it, lest the child be exposed to secondhand smoke. And given the relentless march of anti-smoking laws, I suspect that eventually it will be illegal to smoke around kids in any situation.

Again, this would have meant trouble for Dad.

And even if he didn't run afoul of the law, Dad's method of raising kids probably would seem out of place today.

He made us say "sir" or "ma'am" to adults. We had to wear suits and ties to church. If we got in trouble at school he always took the teacher's side. He never used a cuss word, and he tried – not always successfully – to steer us away from the rawer elements of popular culture. Dad thought the Rolling Stones were a bad influence; today's "gangsta rap" would have given him a stroke.

So to sum it up, in today's society my father would probably be considered an old-fashioned child-abusing sexist secondhand kid poisoner.

But I remember him as a man who loved us deeply and did his best to set us on a proper course in life. And I never think of him without being grateful that he was my father.

So thanks, Dad, for all that you did for us – belt-across-the-butt and all.

And to all of you dads out there, have a happy Father's Day.

Contact the writer: 714-796-7953 or GLDillow@aol.com

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